You know at the point in the movie where the main character drops their veil and they confess everything they’ve really been thinking, and express their true desires? You then breath out – right along with them? Ahhhhh….
Well my big confession is that I not only burned out, but worse, I burned myself out.
You see, I have always had this desire to prove something – like women are powerful, a green business can be profitable, and I guess, “yes I can!” {do it all}. What’s even crazier is that I had actually already proved the first two things with my prior work in green business; but I guess I had to challenge myself to the next level and do it again, all while pregnant and having a baby.
Yes, I was working during this time.
“Why in the hell would you do that?!,” you ask? Well, partly this is just who I am. But that isn’t the complete answer.
If you have seen any of our episodes, you know that my husband Maximo broke the mold. He LOVES having fun, however he’s also very wise at times. When he couldn’t bear to see me struggle with juggling it all, he said to me, “Jen this might be your only child, and you have permission to hit pause because the world isn’t looking for you to be anything more than a mom at this point in you life.”
I exhaled. It felt good.
And so that’s what I did.
I hit pause on the aggressive filming schedule for JenBTV.
I hit pause on the meetings, the sales calls, the public speaking.
I hit pause on the chaotic home renovation schedule.
I hit pause on social engagements that were not soul satisfying.
I even hit pause on checking my phone & email religiously.
And for the first time in my adult life, I lived in the moment. Not because I knew how, but because babies have a way of making you do that.
For example, I’d watch baby Sky wake up from his nap, and his smile would grow bigger and bigger as his eyes fully opened, and then he’d flail his arms around as if in celebration that we got to spend more time together. (Okay, that’s what I told myself so don’t bust my bubble! )
Yes, I’ve become the cliché of the mother who hit pause on work. I was trying so hard to avoid being that cliché, but why? I think it’s because society doesn’t really acknowledge being a mother as a worthy endeavor, and so I was trying to live up to societal expectations instead of listening to my heart.
Which then lead to the next realization: Actually I’ve spent a good chunk of my adult life living how I think I am supposed to live. Damnit!!
Well, it’s not too late to change, I figured. So I meditated on what I really wanted to do professionally going forward, and luckily I kept coming back to teaching sustainable living in an approachable way. (That’s a relief because I really love our website and branding and it would be a crying shame to scrap it!)
However, there will be some changes. First, we are taking the production in-house to give you possibly less polished yet more content. Specifically this means that Maximo will be doing the filming and me the editing. This also helps keep costs down so that we don’t need to spend as much time on looking for sponsors. Second, we are taking our show on the road more to introduce you to new people and places that will inspire you.
And third, we’ll be posting more short format articles and tips as they occur in our daily life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “I wish I could share this with you!” – but our rather fancy publishing format didn’t lend itself to quick, informal posts. Plus, every now and again I STILL get emails from one of the half-million Ideal Bite subscribers asking me to for a comparable resource. (So calling all Biters! Part 2! Awww, that gives me warm fuzzies using that moniker again. Thank you Biters for being so loyal and committed.)
In sum, nine months after having my baby and sending out the first JenBTV video (yes I birthed them both in the same week), we are back after a brief but meaningful hiatus. We are going to give you more grit from our sometimes green lives, and continue to explore this magical nook of central California and the cool characters within.
Oh yeah.
The sweet Santa Ynez Valley is full of old oak trees, vineyards, cows & horses.
Question for you: Has there been a point in your life when you felt like a character in the movie and you said, “Stop the press! I don’t want to do this / live like this / pretend any longer?” Or maybe you can imagine what that moment might be like?
It would mean a lot (and I mean A LOT) if you’d join me in sharing a confessional moment in the comments below.
Thank you for being a part of this journey . . . what a cool thing that sustainable living and authentic living are two sides of the same coin, right?
PS: and thank you, Maximo, for giving me permission to hit pause, and happy 9 month birthday, Baby Sky.
Glad you’re back Jen! But even more glad to hear that you’ve given yourself and Sky the time that you both deserve. We missed you and funny thing, the fact that you haven’t been here every week makes it more exciting when you do show up 🙂 Glad to hear you’re still on board with your mission to educate – it’s badly needed in our society. Take care of yourself and your beautiful, joyous family,
Luv ya!
Awwww Susan your words are so re-assuring. Thank you so much for taking the time to write in, and thank you for the love. Right back at ya, sistah.
There is something beautiful in the hiatus, for those that choose it and those that are asked to wait. Congratulations on the entrance of Sky into your life and hoorah for choosing to honor that time with your family!
(oh .. and YES to less polished!!)
Naomi – I couldn’t agree more re: hiatus, and I can’t believe it took 41 years to discover that. I’ve always just charged on! And thank you for the encouraging words on the less polished. To date that hasn’t been my style (ie: more organic – no pun intended!) but hey, why not give it a try? It kind of matches the baby snot that is on my shirt right now. 🙂
Oh Jen! Bravo to Maximo who recommended hitting pause! I must confess that I neglected my two daughters back when we were The Healing Seed. My teenager even uttered the words “I hate The Healing Seed” because I was so laser focused on building it. But then I found an all new balance when we re-launched as The Wonder Seed. Family comes first now and both girls are more involved with the building of our small family business. And isn’t that just what the world needs? That small family business charm? I’m beyond thrilled for you that you are finding balance before little Sky ever utters such words and I so look forward to a more intimate peak into your little family’s green tips! Every success to you as you take this new course! xoxoxo
Theresa… thank you so much for sharing that. Funny enough just this morning I was bathing with Baby Sky and we lathered up in your deliciously luxurious bubbles (aka: The Wonder Seed bath soap). Then Baby Sky decided he wanted to try to eat the bubbles and so stuck his mouth down into the water and started to lap it up. I was like, “Thank God I know there’s nothing nasty in our soap. So grateful!”. PLUS it lathers so well and smells so great. Honestly it’s in my top 5 of favorite eco products now. THANK YOU for everything you do, and tell your daughters “thank you” from me for sharing some of your time to create it. 🙂
Wow! What an honor to be in your top 5 favorite eco products! You so rock for telling everyone but they may get a little confused since you’re calling it “bath soap” when it’s packaged as “Body Wash”. And the scent you love is fresh jasmine; more scents are coming soon and you’ll be the first to try, your highness 😉 xoxo
aww! and don’t worry I am planning on doing some sort of special feature on it in the future, so I’ll make up for calling it “bath soap”. 🙂 I’ll be in touch on the details… but a sneak peek: fave eco product of the week area and prizes.
Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for sharing your journey, Jen. As a business owner and mom, I am right there with you. There have been many moments (sometimes months-long moments) when I’ve said “I don’t want to do this anymore…” I’ve kept going, but just as you, in order not to give up precious time with my family, I’ve changed my expectations and the way my business operates. I’ve hired more and relied more on our employees to pick up the slack. At home, I’ve hired a housekeeper, a kid to clean my chicken coop and a service to mow my lawn. I’ve given myself permission not to answer every email, to take longer than I thought to complete a project, and to have a messy desk. I’ve accepted that my business won’t grow as fast as it would otherwise.
And behold–after seven years of trying to strike a balance, I’ve found my happy place. I’m having my cake and eating it too. And I consider myself pretty darn savvy for getting here. Here’s to you, Jen. May it take you seven days and not seven years to find your balance. And may you continue to go easy on yourself and enjoy the journey! All of us at My Pet Chicken will continue to look forward to your fun and educational content.
Traci… so amazing. Thank you so much for sharing. (And for any of your that don’t know, Traci founded MyPetChicken.com – our favorite resource for all things chick.) Traci your story really gives me such hope. Even if it does take 7 years to become profitable enough to outsource your chicken coop cleaning (etc), if you enjoy the journey that’s all that matters, right? Cluck on, sistah chicken lover. XOXO
Jen, Love that you shared this. I am starting my business and it takes time to get online get your name out there and what you do and sometimes how it all looks changes that what you thought. I totally stressed out doing all this stuff online. No website so how to get found.. coach and I didnt agree on what she kept telling me to do. I got a new one plus looked at where I was going in circles. started working on my mindset.. I see where its holding me back all my life and I never have had the life I want. I am working smart, my coach and I are on the same page and I had an idea and ran with it for my opt in.. I am also doing a simple website and looking at how to automate as much as I can.. I know it will save time and money if I look and do it smart. I was so burnt out and that I just didnt know what to do. i just breathed and husbands are great to tell you to do that.. plus life happens which just took it higher. I am now doing mediation, looking at all I can do to get me out there and I know that who I am is who my tribe or peeps will love so I am doing it my way. I will probably have sustainable living be a part of my stuff. I dont know how it looks but it comes out in my coaching.
Dearest Connie… wishing you the best of luck and soul-satisfying moments in your journey ahead. Let us know if we can ever help with you integrating sustainability into your coaching! That’s awesome!
Jen, You have worked very hard your entire life. Now it’s time for another new chapter. Congratulations on recognizing that it’s time to switch things up a bit! I love you and am very proud of you. Mom
Awww thanks Mom. 🙂 Love you too. 🙂
I think it’s very difficult to find that place of balance in life. Society clamers at the door of our consciousness, telling us what our lives are supposed to be like and usually we listen.
I have to admit that I have been looking for that place of balance for years. At odd moments, I make a change that will lead me closer to it but as a workaholic I keep running back to the familiar rutt. So I applaud you for having the courage to stay the course and live a more balanced life.
Hey Veronica… I totally know those “familiar ruts.” I mean even with every reason in the world to not be working like mad, I still did because – crazy enough – stress was my comfort zone. In fact when things are super calm and there aren’t a million emails flooding in and fires to put out, I get uncomfortable. It’s a process to retrain ourselves, for sure. Thank you so much for sharing part of your journey with us. 😉
Jen, I’m so happy for you! Remember in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indiana Jones is choosing what he believes is the Holy Grail, and the old monk says, “You have chosen …. wisely.” Yay, that’s YOU!
I was in business with my dad for 25 years while I raised my kids, and remember well the day Dad and I decided not to expand, but to draw in, specialize, focus, and quit doing everything just because we thought we could (and therefore MUST). That was a moment of wisdom, and we all benefited.
Even better is having left the business years ago, and now as a wrinkly old granny, I could not be happier. Life takes on a glow like nothing else when you spend it cavorting with kiddies. Cavort on, you lovely, hen-headed mommy!
Hey Linda! I bet I know which Linda this is… one of my favorite Linda’s of all… Montana Horse Loving Red Coat Wearing Pioneering Linda! And you are FAR from a wrinkly ol’ granny… you are a hero of mine. Thanks so much for your encouraging words of wisdom and shining your light in this direction. PS: remember when we had the hat party? Maybe next time we will all wear chickens on our head. 🙂
Yes! It is like you are writing my journal entry for me. Only it is with baby #2 on the way next month… Ugh. I got chills reading this.
Marc!! You lucky devil, you. Wow. Now I have chill bumps. Congrats, my friend, congrats. Let’s catch up soon & discuss slowing things down as this world speeds up, and of course, how to bring up a child with lots of love and an appreciation for things that aren’t just digital! BIG HUG TO YOU and BELLY RUB to MAMA!
I can’t wait to leave comments, but after I spend time with my son making him dinner and reading him stories before bed.
Good girl, Valerie. 🙂
I think this is amazing , Jen. I admire you so much and have since the first day we met in b-school. Good for you for deciding to slow down. You have nothing more to prove. You will always have so many fans and supporters. And those babies are precious.. we have to hold on to those fleeting moments. Love you and know that I am always here wishing you the best. Xok
Love & admire you too, Kath!! And I can’t wait for our two 9 month old boys to meet one day.
Hey Jen! Good to hear from you and glad to hear you are investing time into your family. Your family is so important and precious. My confession is that I always put my career before my family. As a result, I lost out on so many milestones and bits and pieces of my children’s growing up. I just had a baby boy a year ago and decided the career needed to go. Unfortunately, me and my son’s father broke things off so life threw a huge wrench in my plans. However, everyday gets a little easier and I am hoping to secure a part-time job doing something totally different than what I was accustomed to. It would be nice to have the best of both worlds.
I know now and appreciate how much I enjoy being a mom!
Pam – yeah isn’t that a pickle… making a living vs. making a life worth living. I am so sorry to hear about your split with you baby’s daddy, but I’ve always said that being with the wrong person is harder than being alone. I admire you and your quest to find the best of both worlds!! Xo JB
After reading your post, many,many thoughts have come to mind regarding choices, economies, caring, environment and my personal, evolving philosophy about it all. What I think and feel could fill an entire page or more!. The conclusion I’ve reached is that it is now important to me to buy less, care more, and be present in the now of my relationships I have with loved ones and our environment. Well, animals too, since they are our partners on this planet. I am a nurse, so I do a lot of caring, and am often exhausted, so I’ve decided that quietly caring for the environment in my home, on my table, and in our yard is one way to restore myself from the intensity of people work. Being a Biter, I have learned so much about how to do this economically and greenly and I feel better about this. It’s how we live our little lives that counts towards healing the big picture. We say that often, but the fact is, it’s damn true
Ideal Bite impacted half a million people and those who are in relationship with us. You’ve had a powerful impact, Jen. Every one of us will support you in living the philosophy of light green living you’ve presented to us, and are now living by example.
Kids and their innocent, necessary, and often noisy needs for physical safety, security and health DO have a way of bringing one into the moment. I am an obstetric nurse and I often share with new parents that a baby’s cry is a way of talking that says, “I need food (comfort, dry pants, your presence) NOWWWWWWW! And you bet it’s all about love for you when you see that face light up and arms happily flailing when you arrive. Parenting is hard work, but loving work. Who started that thought that when a woman opts out of work to care for her family she’s a cliche???
Going to work allows us to buy the things we need, but could we work less, do family time more, if we actually bought mostly according to need and not wants (realistically, wants will always be there, just need to choose more wisely). Less stuff, more time for love. Sentimental, sure, but my husband and I are in the last phase of our lives and spending good time building relationship with him is my driving need.
Oh Christine…. that was really beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. I love this sentence of yours: “It’s how we live our little lives that counts towards healing the big picture.” So true. It reminds me of Emerson’s poem on Success..
To laugh often and much,
to win respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch, or a
redeemed social condition;
to know even one life
has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
Not to mention, you are so right on with the concept of buying less. It breaks my heart to have people tell me they can’t buy organics for their family yet looking at them I can tell they spend good money on “game boys” and the likes. So why can’t we shift some of that Wal-mart-esque money (ie: non-essential things destined for the landfill) so we can afford good food for our family? And taken a step further, give up being highly consumptive so you can work less and therefore spend more time with family and friends and animals and nature. It takes practice and discipline for sure because our society breeds this hunger for things into us, and you have to actively work against it. I actually make myself put things in the shopping cart online and wait until the next day, testing if it is essential or I just thought it was in the moment. I am sure I could do a lot more to reduce my personal consumption.
I think Lily Tomlin said it best: “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” 😉
Thank you, Christine, for coming back into my life! You are in inspiration!
In 1991 I got sick, and sick again, and then I just never got better. I was on the fast track, involved in local politics, working two jobs and trying to raise my 13 year old mentally handicapped son by myself. Then I wasn’t. I thought it was just stress and took some time off work. I spent a whole year having every type of test including psychiatric and was told it was “probably” Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I come from a family of entrepreneurs who work for fun. On weekends when I was a child we built roads, for fun, with a grader and everything. I went to work in my grandparents restaurant when I was 10, so my grandfather could help my parents build their own house.
Three years after I was diagnosed I went to graduate school for a Master’s degree. It took me almost three years, but I did it. Unfortunately, my last semester, after having had strep throat for a WHOLE year, I was too sick to work full time so I found a part time job but it didn’t pay very well. Now I am part owner in a small seasonal business and it seems to be working out, but Not like I pictured my life at this time in my life.
I have watched JenB tv from the beginning and have wondered where you have been. It takes a whole lot of courage to step back from the fast track but it will be worth it.
Everything will work out the way it is supposed to in the end. If it is not okay, it is not the end.
Dear Elizabeth, WOW. Your story is very moving. Through it all it seems like you gained so much wisdom, and can take things in stride. You are so appreciated for being a loyal JenBTV subscriber and advocate… THANK YOU, THANK YOU. Let us know if there’s anyway we can help you out along your journey. Warmly, Jen
Kudos Jen, for telling the truth, being brave and vulnerable and pursuing real meaning in your life. You have inspired us all!
I too had a similar moment in my life two years ago when my sweet husband was diagnosed with a health issue that was limiting his ability to be mobile. It was a no brainer to decide to live life differently but was difficult to walk away from what I had been building as an entrepreneur. A little more here http://www.ltd365.com/2012/09/ltd-on-the-road/. (*Note–we hit 38 states and our only international travel was Mexico. Too much to see and too little time! )
Grateful for your example Jen!
xo-Nada
Thanks Nada for your story… it’s so scary when someone has a health issue, and it really draws all of this to a head — very quickly — in terms of what’s most important in life, doesn’t it? Thank YOU so much for reminding us to all live in a way where we’ll have no regrets for ourselves and with those we love.
Over the weekend, a friend of mine said “Every time I ask someone how they are doing, they begin to list the duties of their busy schedule and their calendar of events. It’s really not what I want to know. What I want to know is – is your life happy? Are you enjoying your family and friends? Is your heart in a good place?” Jen, your happy heart is evident in your genuine caring for others and the Earth … and your truthful words about taking a break from a hectic schedule to spend time with those you love. We all need to hit the pause button more often and just make sure that our lives are not too busy with the “what to do next” things, instead of the “who to be with” moments. Be with Sky. Be with Maximo. When you touch base with all the rest of us, we’re happy to hear from you! Thanks for reminding us to explore the magic.
Mindy! You make such excellent points…and funny enough I’ve recently become aware of this phenomenon of not really getting the answer to the question, “How are YOU?”. You’ve helped me take this notion to the next level… maybe we just need to ask people, “Is your heart in a good place?” and really get to the, err, um, heart of that matter!” XO JB
Moments in life are fleeting. When we finally realize what we are missing and have missed…those precious moments are gone.
Babies grow way too fast… I remember you and Peter with Courtney and Grant. All of you are precious gifts. Sky is a gift.
Never regret pausing to see life through his eyes. Enjoy each day and cherish and value those moments. Life is so very fragile
We must be gentle with ourselves and those we love. Do it your way….with no regrets… And happiness and contentment will
Be yours. Love and happiness. You have already proven you can do it. Now…let sky teach you about miracles
Hi Aunt Marie… thank you so much for you thoughts… I love your words, “Let Sky teach you about miracles.” YESSSSSS!!!! Sending love to everyone there in PA. Jen
Jen,
I am SO HAPPY to hear this news – that you are on Pause to enjoy your sweet baby, Sky, and your husband, your home, your simple moments of each day. You get one chance to raise your child. One chance to enjoy each day of their learning and growing and loving. That’s it. Thank you to Maximo for helping you to press the Pause button. I, too, struggled with what I thought society describes as a successful woman – one who can do it all – work and raise a family. I did not work (only jobettes, like your mom) while raising my children, but it has taken me almost my entire life to stop berating myself for not being able to do it all. It is so freeing! I am so glad for you that you have recognized this and accepted it and are doing the right thing – enjoying your baby and giving him your time (you’ve already done the successful business woman thing and you can go back to that full-time someday in the future if you choose). I’ve read that the first 3 years in a child’s life are the most important in setting their character – who better to do that than his parents? And then after that they still need you there – it’s a full time+ job for 18 years! I’m proud of you!
Love, Bev
Bev…thank you so much! this means a lot coming from you. And I had not heard that about the first 3 years setting their character.. makes me feel even better about the decision! Thank you, Thank you… hope we all get to do a “Myrtle Beach” trip together one day soon! Funny, now I have a little peanut to bring to the beach. :-))) Love you! Jen